Mommy Guilt

If you've never felt mommy guilt, you're not a real mother!  We walk through this craziness known as motherhood with not only the responsibility of raising children, taking care of our families, and managing a house, but with this nagging guilt to add fuel to the fire.  I was raised Catholic which gives me the authority to state for fact that I have an extra dose of guilt that started at St. Mathew's Catholic school at the ripe old age of 5.  The seed that was planted inside of me didn't really come out until the children came out.  Let's not forget how other mother's, relatives, and any stranger can make us feel like a substandard mother. You know, those people that know the right way to raise your children and make you question yourself?!

First lesson of mother's guilt came with my decision to bottle feed and not breastfeed.  I figured it was a personal choice that everyone would respect because it was mine to make.  Ever wonder if people actually think about what they say before they open their mouths? I told someone once that I didn't have the instinct to breastfeed and she told me, "oh, so you didn't have the instinct to feed your baby?".  Wow, thanks for the mommy support and for adding to the inner guilt I already felt!  I would sit in baby class and wonder if all of the other breastfeeding moms felt the same way when I pulled out the bottle to feed my baby.

Guilt!  

Daycare! Nothing can make you feel more guilty than dropping your baby off for someone else to spend more time with than you.  As I've stated before, staying home after my daughter was born was not an option, we needed my income to pay our bills.  I'll admit there were times I would give her a dose of tylenol when she had a low grade fever because I didn't have an hour left of sick or vacation time.  I thought of her all day long hoping she wasn't sick and wondering if the woman I paid $3/hr was comforting my child when I couldn't.

More guilt!  

Balancing my husband, kids, friends, and myself.  There are days I don't want to be around my kids or my husband, it's normal, right?  I cringe when people say, "enjoy every moment".  Really, every moment?  I don't enjoy the screaming, crying, whining, constant touching, and 24/7 neediness.  Sometimes I don't want to read the same book for the 20th time or push the swing for an hour or watch a movie with them while they jump on me.  Did I give my husband enough attention?  When was our last date night?  Are friends mad because I don't return phone calls for days or that I don't want to go out and would rather go to bed?

More and more guilt...

My son doesn't speak!  He turned two in March and can only say a hand full of words.  My mind tells me that it's not my fault, but my heart weighs heavy wondering if I did something wrong to make him delayed.  Is it because I stayed home with him and he had less socialization than my daughter at that age?  Do I read enough books to him?  Do I talk to him enough?  Is there something I could have done sooner?  Make the mommy voice in my head stop!!!

Stack on more, I can take it!

Guilt...what is it really? Maybe rather than a bad thing it's that nagging feeling that tells us someone is judging us and we should stay away.  Maybe it's telling us to enjoy the moment we're in because things can change quickly.  Maybe it's the realization that something needs to change to make our lives what we really want it to be?  Whatever it is we need to learn to live with a little guilt, let go of a little, and ignore the people that try to add more to our lives!