"I'll never...", I've eaten those words more times than I care to admit! We all do it, swear we're never going to do something until we realize what marriage, kids, and life in general are really about. So, here are 5 things (there are many more, but I could write a book) I swore I would never do, but did...
1. Get divorced! What woman doesn't want to be the princess for the day? I had the beautiful white dress, family and friends surrounding me, a perfect day...except for the groom. The problem is when the wedding is the main focus and not the marriage. We've all been to a wedding that we think, "they should not be getting married, it's not going to last". Yup, I was that person! When the big "D" happened I became one of those people and only a short time before judged those divorcees as "failures and quitters". Would I take the big D back? Nope! I met and married the most awesome man that I met at a divorce support group. Internet dating is for suckers, just hit up the divorce groups:)
2. Let kids sleep in my bed. I'm not a co-sleeper and my kids never slept with us as babies, the youngest never even got to sleep in the bassinet in our room. I love you little man, but Mommy is way more confident this time around, to your crib for you...see you in two hours! When did my no kids or dogs in the bed change? When my 1.5 year old decided his new wake up time would be 3:30/4:30 am, I like to believe that'll do it to anyone. I would let him lay with me just to get another thirty minutes. Until your sleep deprived for days upon days you don't realize how priceless thirty minutes can be. Or until you're a parent!
3. Be a stay at home mom. I was 100% planning to go back to work until my son was born and I realized having two children under two was not double the work, but felt like triple the work. My employer at the time wasn't family friendly and my daycare situation pretty well sucked. For an entire year I had this lost, confused, "what the hell did I do" look on my face and I have witnesses to prove it. The image I had of "SAHM's" was completely wrong; I underestimated the stress, and worried every day about breaking the bank giving up an entire income. Are there days I would like to go back to work? You bet! Then I think about monthly performance reviews, outside education, and essentially working two full time jobs and I realize I'll take the tantrums, diapers, and screaming any day over the corporate b.s.!
4. Run. I swore for years I would only run if someone was chasing me with a knife, and that may even be questionable. Last year I decided to finally cross "run a 5k" off my bucket list. I can say with a smile on my face that I did just that and ran a 5 mile race also. This year I'm already signed up for two races and have at least two more planned. I can honestly say I'm not really sure why I like it and on many occasions I've thought of it more as self punishment than a hobby. But the sadist in me keeps doing it and I have no idea why? I've spit on myself on numerous occasions, peed myself a little (ok, it may have been more than a little), dry heaved more times then I can count, almost gotten hit by cars, and got so hot during the 5 mile race I started swaying and almost passed out (but I finished:)! What negates all of that...one hour of complete alone time, pushing myself to new goals, and the overwhelming feeling I get when I see my family at the finish line cheering for me and the rush of personal accomplishment when I cross that finish line. I suddenly heard Whitney Houston signing "One Moment in Time"...yup, that's what it's like:)
5. Use television as a babysitter. Raise your hand out there in mommy land if you've never used the television as a babysitter, even for 10 minutes, to get something done? If you answered "no", you're a big fat LIAR! When we have our first child we swear we're never going to be "that mother" who puts our kids in front of the tv to go into "the zone" of peace and quiet. When does that all change? When they're old enough to move and start destroying your house, but will sit for a couple of minutes (or hours, don't judge me) so we can get something done. Or when you have more than one and they don't take naps at the same time. As I'm writing this my daughter is watching PBS kids while my son sleeps. Should she be reading books or doing a leappad, probably! She can names at least five dinosaurs and will tell you she wants to be a paliontalogist, thank you evil "Dinosaur Train". For the honest moms out there, I'll keep your secret if you'll keep mine?! And for you mommies of babies, never say never!
I believe we have these moments of self awareness to remind us we're not perfect and to not judge those around us because one day that could be us! If someone would have told me ten years ago I would be a divorcee, remarried, stay at home mother of five children, I would have laughed in your face. Life takes us in directions we never expect, hold on and enjoy the ride:)
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